I’m Not Wanted

The wave of graduation has hit and the sadness of never being with my community has started to sink in. Being a senior is a bittersweet feeling as you are about to enter into an exciting new phase of a new career, more money, and big decisions, but you also leave behind the ease of your school routine that you've had for the past four years of your life. Maybe it is just the weather but it starts to feel as though relationships or friendships that you have had start to drift a part as you decide which people you want to continue doing life with even after you graduate. It feels like there is a level of unwantedness. I don't say this to be melodramatic but it shows just how lonely the last few weeks of college can be, but the Lord has reminded me of something recently. I am not of this world. I was not meant to feel wanted here because this world is not my home. I am called to make disciples for an eternal kingdom not just choose the people I want to be bridesmaids at my wedding. Even if you are not in college we are called to something more at work, church, and even in retirement. The people you see every day need to be reminded that they have a purpose and it is to live on mission in the place where God puts you.

My pastor said a couple weeks ago that we are meant to go and be the church. People cannot know Jesus if they have no one to show them who He is. One person who I think felt lonely or unwanted was Mary, the mother of Jesus. Obviously as a fourteen year old girl I would have no idea what she went through nor what it means to be living her life but have to be shunned by your community for an out of marriage pregnancy cannot be easy. Although everyone made sure that she knew how "unclean" in their eyes she was, she was still wanted by God and treasured by Him. She trusted that through all things she would come to understand that she played a bigger purpose in this world than she ever thought that she could. She showed people what it meant to be faithful in spite of knowing the outcome. We do not know what is in store for us in the future, that being said, we are still meant to be on mission for the Lord. Don't let the fear of rejection or simply having to speak to someone keep you from telling them about Jesus. Everyone deserves to know and who He is and why Easter is such a wonderful time of year. Invite people to church, tell them about the Lord because they are searching for something that they don't even know about. 

You might not be the mother of Jesus but there is still a reason that God wants you to be here. There is more for you than just approval from friends, family, or even work. You are called to something higher and the Lord is the one who defines who you are, not a test grade, not what people think of you, and definitely not your past. Sometimes the things that we are known for can be a hinderance but also a help, use everything for His good and His glory. A thing that I find so sweet throughout the gospel of Matthew is the phrase "Mary treasured these things in heart". We are not here on this earth for our own gratification we are to be used for God. Let Him use you in ways that you might not want to be.